I did not live always in Can Tho, so I know how gays in Viet Nam live. I lived in the countryside, where it is nearly impossible to show you're gay. I stayed much time in the big cities Ha Noi, Da Nang and Ho Chi Minh City, where being gay is not a problem anymore - the only problem of the gays there is the question how to dress and style.
Since I lived in Can Tho my view on being gay in Viet Nam changed dramatically. I always wondered why in a country in which there is no real threat for gays, most of them do not come out but live their lives totally normal: marry, get children. I know "gays" who are mid-thirties, adore the male body, but never in theit live had sex with another man. Since I am in Can Tho, I know and understand.
The real threat is not the police or the government, or the neighbours or the family. The real threat is the gay themselves. Most of the gays live a real normal and totally boring live. The only hint they are gay is that they watch gay porn in the web. They chat (maybe) with some other gays. No one would think they adore cocks...but there are others. Handsome young boys. Students. Students always need money, isn't it? I think this is the same everywhere in the world. Being student means low of money. Handsome boys, gay, in need of money. Most of them finance their life with doing callboys. This is not unique to Viet Nam, I know. It is quite traditional in Viet Nam that young boys and girls afford their lives with gifts they get from older ones. But today, with the need of most luxurious things, this gets more and more out of control.
Since I moved to Can Tho I had contacts to callboys. Not that I looked for them. No, they always find me. I think there is a network in Can Tho, so they talk about freshmen coming. My philosophy is laissez-faire. So everyone can do what he want. The one is callboy. The other his guest. If I know someone is call, I can decide. If I know he want money, I decide to give or not. But....and this is the problem. Most do not tell they are callboy. No, they tell you most sweet things. And then, after you slept with them, you either get a bill or a scam, or in some cases you wake up and your money, laptop and mobile is gone.
Vietnamese boys are handsome and sweet. I know. But - please - do not look the outside. Nearly everybody, even the sweetest and cutest boy is only looking for his advantage. Common sense should tell you. If you are 60, why a boy of 18 with six-pack should go out with you? The problem is: they know you are gay. And they can blackmail you. Vietnamese can easily be blackmailed, because all what is not normative is against society. And people who are against society will be isolated easily. Vietnamese need their contacts and relationships. If they loose them, they also could make suicide.
Can Tho is a city full of gays. And a city full of scam. I only learned some nice gay friends who not did try to get something from me. In the next posts I will tell you about the good and bad sides of the gay life here, which is only an example but which is I think also in other Vietnamese cities.